Book reveals the fragile blue line

Sitting in his car on a secluded road surrounded by bushland, police officer James Yates came close to ending his life.

It was the thought of his children that gave him the hope he needed to stop.

That was 10 years ago.

It was the moment he realised he had to leave the police force.

Last month he released his book, 9370 Sooner or Later Everyone Pays a Price, a memoir about frontline policing in Perth.

The book gives a detailed account of what led Mr Yates to suicidal thoughts and his journey to being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and learning to control it.

PTSD is a condition that is triggered by a terrifying event - experiencing it or witnessing it - and the symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety.

Originally from southern California, it was a navy posting at Exmouth that introduced Mr Yates to WA and his first wife.

He returned to the US to study and applied to work in law enforcement in California, before moving back to WA and joining WA Police in 1995.

The book delves into his experiences on the beat across Perth's southern suburbs to 2005.

Mr Yates said he considered being a police officer a "special calling" and a job, for the most part, he found rewarding and challenging, but there was a darker side the pubic did not always see.

"The ugly bits are kind of hidden from the public, but the book is full of truth and stranger than fiction moments - things that were sometimes humorous and others that you just couldn't make up," he said.

"It's not just about PTSD, it is about what police officers go through, what it is really like on the streets of Perth, down the dark alleys and the graffiti-littered walls, places the normal public doesn't go … police officers have to go there.

"It is not only the physical assaults, it's the things that police see in the job - suicide, domestic violence, fatal car crashes - there are some very gruesome things."

Mr Yates acquired two awards for his bravery and courage for the way he dealt with life-threatening situations on the job. But Mr Yates said eventually it became too much.

"One of these instances was when my partner had her gun taken away and the guy tried to shoot us," he said. "It was a fight to get the gun back, and one slip of my hand off the gun would have resulted in me getting shot or her getting shot."

He said on the job he had been bitten, stabbed with a dirty syringe (the offender claimed it was Aids infected), grappled, assaulted and threatened.

"Towards the end of my career there were three life-threatening scenarios which happened about a month after each other and my mind just shut down," Mr Yates said.

"Some people can handle situations and not develop PTSD, while other people, similarly strong people, can have something tip them over the edge."

Mr Yates said bottling up his fears and emotions and withdrawing from his family eventually took its toll and led to the breakdown of his marriage.

He later remarried and hid his feelings from his wife until he began having violent dreams and assaulting her in his sleep.

"That's when I decided to go and get help," Mr Yates said.

"I went to a psychologist and he diagnosed me with PTSD in 2001."

Hiding his disorder at work became overwhelming and one day, in 2005, he booked sick leave and never returned.

The department gave Mr Yates 12 months with pay to recover and return to work, but he never put on the uniform again.

Mr Yates said he went through counselling for many years and writing the book was an "emotional catharsis".

He said the book explained to his three children what happened during those 10 years and brought them understanding and closure.

He hoped sharing his story would encourage other police officers to seek help and bring attention to the need for more support and compensation for officers who have to retire on medical grounds.

Find his book online at www.9370.com.au .