Lanna Hill: Men are also pressured to choose between family and careers

This week marked a defining date in the calendar for working women in Australia — the date that women are essentially working for free between now and the end of the year because of the remaining gender pay gap, which sits between 11 and 20 per cent, according to new research.

It’s a topic that just isn’t going away, rightfully so. But what often strikes me is that we spend a lot of time talking about one side of the problem: what needs to change for women.

This is, of course, vital to shifting the balance, and as a single mum of two, I have had a lot of first-hand experience of the different expectations placed on women and how that plays out in the workplace.

Yet I am also acutely aware that we can’t solve this issue by only looking at half of the story.

While it might be a somewhat controversial opinion, men are also being negatively impacted by the presiding culture in Australia, especially in the workplace.

The ideal of what masculinity looks like, although shifting, has a long way to go if we are to fully realise an equal environment, especially when it comes to working parents.

I have heard dozens of first-hand accounts from male friends of mine expressing the pressure they felt, either through indirect, cultural expectations or explicit verbal instructions, to prioritise their careers above all else, including family — be it their relationships or their children.

Others have shared their desire to be a stay-at-home parent, or take extended parental leave to enable their partner to return to work, but felt that they wouldn’t be taken seriously at work if they did so.

Men are also being made to choose between their careers and their families, and while there’s not as much data around this, this would also surely be having an impact on their relationships, and their own mental health.

Similarly, I have heard many examples of when workplace culture is toxic; while men are less likely to be the victims of bullying, harassment or discrimination, they still feel pressured to keep their mouths shut when their superiors are the perpetrators, and feel they need to mirror this poor behaviour, or risk becoming the victims themselves.

It’s a culture reminiscent of schoolyard bullying, yet is still so prevalent in Australian workplaces.

In my opinion, we also need to support men to feel like they are not the problem, but an integral part of the solution.

As we’ve heard, gender equity isn’t just a women’s problem, but we need to reposition how we frame this so men feel not only empowered, but released from the same patriarchal structures that are also holding them back.

We need men in positions of profile and power to speak up too — and we need more visible examples of what “great”, and “different”, and “masculine” looks like — in all its different forms.

We all need to feel like we can be ourselves at work, and we all deserve to be empowered to achieve the things we want to in our professional lives, without feeling like it’s at the expense of our personal lives, or vice versa, and only then will we realise true gender equity in Australia.

Lanna Hill is a strategist, speaker and founder of Leverage Media